Cracking the misunderstandings around the HOLY WHORE concept
The concept of the holy whore, sacred prostitute dates back to ancient times and existed in many many cultures . It is related to the temple priestesses who performed the sacred sexuality arts.
As warriors returned from a battle near Sparta for example, the female worshippers of the goddess Hestia in Greek mythology had sex with them to integrate them back into society and heal them with the divine, sacred feminine.
It was the famous Vestal Virgins of ancient Rome who kept the sacred fires burning and honored her by being chaste.
And the idea of sexual priestesses existed in many other cultures, too.
Let's have a look at how it looks today, though since the term "holy whore" is being over and misused by all sort of new age tantra practioners, masseurs, strippers, webcam performers etc. We could possibly try to find an answer to the question: if it is sacred why then so many sex workers struggle with mental health?
We are sacred by nature because life is sacred but, there is always these buts in life... what if they did not exist? How easier life would be, right?
BUT..
Prostitution can be a sacred art only when a woman involved in it learns to balance between herself and the others. When she learns to embrace herself with compassion and transforms her inner darkness into light so to say.
Quite often though, due to all sort of cultural, family background, it takes a while for a woman to learn how to take care of her emotional needs first, sometimes even a lifetime.
The root cause of the difficulties in this process, of course, we can find in childhood where the emotional needs of many of us have not been met. We will explore in another post the impact of childhood on our sexuality, however.
What often happenes to many women regardless of whether they are directly involved in sex work or not is that they just surpress, rather than truly embrace their shadow side. Society wants to see the likable parts, and rarely provides space for the unlikable.
So we designed the Naked psychologist very much to be such an alternative space.
Back to the sacred whore concept.
Sacred prostitution is actually a spiritual path and the most important lesson to learn is to ballance between giving and receiving pleasure.
To learn to do that, though, a woman encounters setbacks on this path, which she needs to overcome. Our culture is predominantly focused on the pleasure of men. How many times sex ends, when the men cums?? Do you know though that if a sexual act ends without an orgasm for the woman this causes the stress hormones in her brain to rise up?
As a result of the sexualization the feminine is required to be separated instead of united. And here comes the big problem.
The power of the sacred prostitute comes from being a whole, fully integrated woman.
What current sex culture does is take female power from the women by requesting them to separate their body from their emotions.
The sacred whore is a woman united in body and mind who connects to both the earth and the heavens (heights and depths). The holy whore is not the false feminine often seen in the media, who uses her sexuality to attract attention and objectify herself in the process, in order to please the other.
The sacred prostitute combines the desire of the whore and acting on what she wants with the virginal quality of self-containment and freedom. She is both virgin and whore, sacred and profane. However, maintaining the fine line between the two worlds is hard to deal with when we do not truly heal trauma, but only suppress it. What happens as a result - instead of becoming sacred, some fall into the shadow aspects of their psyche.
So in order to be able to transform other people's pain, first a woman needs to learn to hold her own and embrace it, rather than hide it.
Both in the sex work industry and in sexual trauma in many cases the emotions of women are ignored. They are required to show a fun, joyous, always ready for sex, open no matter what and “enjoying it” but this enjoyment is planned, scripted, not authentic in most of the cases .
There is no woman in real life who is naturally in this openness state. Naturally, we require safety to open up, not just physically but emotionally. Rarely women in the industry are given space to emotionally BE.
I have met a model, whose father had died 2 days before, yet she was going to erotic shoots and performing. Can you imagine the amount of emotional NUMBNESS required to do that?
In its essence, the message of a sex rape for example is "I do not care about you, or what you feel." So, a woman who has been raped starts to ignore what she feels later on, as she assumes her feelings do not matter for anyone. So by being emotionally neglected, she starts to neglect her emotional needs as well.
That explains why so many sexual workers have been reported to have been victims of sexual violence before they get in the industry. It is through this sexual aggressor from the outside that they intergate within and become him for themselves.
And then it is the vicious circle of "give me your body, here is the cash, your emotions are not important"…
So, a woman is in a state of separation between body and mind, which is actually the shadow aspect of the sacred whore. And creates an inner turmoil. So somehow this shadow needs to come to light by getting to know the opposite of neglect. That someone cares, someone can witness my experiences without judging me. Being heard with compassion, teaches self-compassion. Later on a woman can become that someone for herself. In this lies the therapeutic effect of the Naked psychologist project.
Another trap on the path of sacred sexuality is porn, both participating as an actress, or performing scenes from porn in your real life, as porn drastically changes “the norm” of real life sex.
A basic need for our emotional well-being is to feel accepted and respected, which we satisfy through sex. Many porn scripts though show abuse, offence, disrespect..., this makes a woman shrink in herself because by being verbally or physically abused a woman cannot feel safe in her own body. This is not how our nervous system works. Her mind percieves it as a treat at the same time she is required to open up and be penetrated at the same moment. It creates a contradiction and inner conflict which is in the core of scientific reports explaining why many porn actresses use drugs to mantain themselves and self-medicate. In this case, the original sexual trauma which most probably put them in the sex industry or unhealthy sexual relationships is multiplied and so is multiplied the emotional pain and turmoil which come with it.
There are other traps on the path as well which we will explore in our next posts. Stay tuned.
Get in touch with us! We are here for you!
Building bridges
The Naked psychologist projects invites and supports women on a powerful journey of transformation. We equip participants with tools to flourish beyond survival.
When trauma happens our personality gets distorted, we are fragmented. The biggest trap for survivors is that some start identifying with the symptoms that we discussed in the previous section, they start to believe that symptoms are a normal part of who they are. Associating yourself with their traumatized part only prevents people from seeking help and initiate the healing journey. That is how many addictions start. Addictions are a reflection of identification of the self with the traumatized part. In such a state healing is impossible. As one sees only one part. The healthy part of us remains unseen. Our project helps you become sort of a bridge- builder between the seen and the unseen, the desired and the rejected, the loved and the unloved..the weak and the strong…
This makes our approach very organic in its essence . We provide you space in a session to experience yourself in your totality. As wholeness is embracing it all and dissolving the borders of duality.
Society often asks us to distort and show just parts of us. Often sex workers, erotic models are requested to show just what somebody else would like. This makes women abandoned and hide even from themselves sometimes what others do not want to see.
So The Naked psychologist is a miniature antidote to society. You can see it that way, if you want. There are no requests, no expectations, no end result. You decide, you choose what to share, how much to share and how to share it. YOUR STORY DOES NOT NEED TO BE LIKABLE. No one requires this from you here. YET, IT MATTERS JUST BECAUSE IT IS YOURS.
By being provided such free space you are supported to learn to listen to your emotions and body simultaneously, which is hard after experiencing trauma. The powerful effect of the Naked psychologist comes from being able to see the whole picture, you can go from objectification to empowerment, from separation to togetherness, from being hated to being adored simultaneously, in one space. While talking about your broken heart, you can produce an image that moves and intrigues somebody.
We want to help more women believe that IT IS POSSIBLE TO STRIP YOUR SOUL AS WELL AS YOUR BODY AND STILL BE GORGEOUS AND LOVED.
The experience of many girls in the nude, erotic,escort, porn industries is that although undressed on the body level, their emotions remain covered and that is traumatizing in its own experience because it forces separation - what I show is not actually what I feel. Been there right?
This Naked psychologist opens a process that can help you built new neurotic bonds in the brain and start rebuilding the bridge between your traumatized and your healthy part.
NB!!!! AS THE PROCESS OF RECLAIMING THE TRAUMATIZED PARTS OF OURSELVES CAN BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL, WE HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU TO WORK WITH A THERAPIST. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT ON YOUR OWN AS THE WOUNDS WHICH MIGHT SURFACE ARE UNPREDICTABLE.
Either book a session on our website or if you already work with another therapist choose sessions to focus entirely on the experience of participating in the Naked psychologist. Healing is a courageous step but only been supported guarantees the blossoming results.
That is the only strict requirement we have because your mental health is our top priority.
What is trauma?
What Trauma Is..
Trauma is the result of overwhelm to your system. It’s not only cognitive; it’s biological as well. It affects MIND, BODY and SOUL. It’s about fear and your ability to cope. There’s no time to think when facing a threat; your primary responses are instinctual.
Peter Levine, PhD, author of the pioneering book Waking the Tiger, has spent over forty years studying stress and trauma and is responsible for many discoveries in the field. Levine observed that an animal in the wild will instinctually shake after escaping a life-threatening event to discharge accumulated energy and then go on its way as if nothing happened. He realized that like other mammals, when faced with an overwhelming event, the human body must complete a primitive process: preparing for the event, reacting to it, and then discharging the accumulated energy once the threat has passed (Levine 1997).
Trauma results when this process is thwarted in some way, such as not being able to react or discharge the accumulated energy after the threat has passed.
Understanding Your Trauma Symptoms
Let’s take a look at some of the symptoms of trauma. Think of the early symptoms as your body’s way of trying to get your attention. It’s letting you know something’s off and it’s time to get help or support. If you’ve effectively suppressed the overwhelming event, symptoms may take years to appear. Some can show up soon after the trauma; others may take much longer to develop. These symptoms don’t always indicate trauma and aren’t meant for diagnostic purposes, yet if they persist, it may be a sign.
1. Hyperarousal - heightened startle response, frequently scanning the environment or watching for trauma reminders , feeling on edge or having feelings of anxiety related physical symptoms, such as a racing heart, upset stomach, or headaches becoming irritable, quick to anger, or aggressive difficulty concentrating difficulty sleeping risky or impulsive behaviors
2. Reexperiencing the trauma - distressing thoughts and feelings about the trauma, emotional distress after being triggered by a reminder of the trauma physical responses after being triggered ,flashbacks nightmares
3. Avoidance of trauma reminders- avoidance of people, places, or things related to the trauma ,avoidance of activities related to the trauma ,avoidance of conversations related to the trauma ,suppressing thoughts related to the trauma using drugs, alcohol, or food to suppress uncomfortable thoughts, and emotions
4. Negative thoughts or feelings- excessive blame toward oneself or others related to the trauma, loss of memory related to the trauma, loss of interest in activities, difficulty experiencing positive feelings, feeling isolation or disconnection from surroundings, excessive negative thoughts about oneself, excessive negative thoughts about the world
5. Mental and physical health issues-
(These symptoms usually take longer to develop and were likely preceded by some of the earlier symptoms.) - immune system problems, some endocrine problems, such as thyroid malfunction and environmental sensitivities like asthma, skin disorders, digestive problems, such as IBS, acid reflux, and SIBO (leaky gut), chronic pain, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia
As you review this list, know that you’re not alone in your symptoms. Although you may not know their names, there are many others traveling this path along with you. The symptoms differ for each person, but all are common among survivors.
The shame of sexual trauma can be so strong and overwhelming that sometimes the mind is tricked to believe that “what happens to me is the worst, most gross..”. Survivors feel isolated and alone. By sharing our stories we make ourselves and others see that we are united in our experiences.
The main aim of the Naked psychologist project is to show that “MY STORY IS YOUR STORY.” .
Here is a link if you want to further read about how our body is impacted by trauma : https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8418154/
How naked are you when you are naked?
Has this question ever crossed your mind?
Have you ever realized that many of us are quite dressed while being naked. Sexuality stores our deepest sensitivity, respectively our deepest fears as well. In the “performance” culture where we live many people try to carry thousand masks, yet wearing mask is quite hard because “you are naked”.
Statistics shows that most sex workers have been victims of sexual trauma in their childhood or teenage years and it is the objectification of their body that made them lose their sovereignity over their body and subconsciously motivated their decission to offer their body as an object.
The Naked Psycjologist project aims at raising certain questions, provoke discussions over the topics of objectification and empowerment as well as build compassion and self-compassion using the means of psychology and photography united in a meaningful cause.
Very often when we judge somebody and project our fantaises on them we do not really realize how many layers of pain they carry below the naked body. And sometimes we forget that this carrier of heavy load is our own body.
That is why with our work we want to foster acceptance and self-acceptance.
We cannot change our story, we can only embrace and heal the emotional impact it had on us.
That is why we warmly encourage you to contact us, book a session and see how together we can transform what is there beyound the nudity.
Once I read that you are as comfortable being naked with your body as you are with your soul. Though I double question this.
The Naked Psychologist encourages you to undress your soul, not only your body and see what is there.
Why healing sexual trauma is important?
At our core we are sexual beings. We are created through sex, so when an attack on our sexuality happens, it affects directly our essence. As of course, it happens through the body we have chosen again the body as a means to release it but we have decided to involve more than one means to express.
Undoubtedly, our body, mind and spirit are interrelated, although to a person who has experienced trauma it does not seem so, it is no wonder that sexual trauma affects badly mental health and manifests PTSD, depression, eating disorders, sexual dysfunction, alcohol and illicit drug use, nonfatal suicidal behavior and suicidal threats, physical symptoms in the absence of medical conditions, and severe preoccupations with physical appearances.
The Naked Psychologist project offers an alternative to classic psychological therapy where erotic art photography and psychology merge forces to reach a more potent and powerful result of healing.
Very often classic conversational therapy focuses on the talk itself only, which works but might take longer as the sensations of the body are not in focus. And the biggest issue of sexual trauma is the dissociation of the body that happens during the traumatic situation. Although that is a mechanism to preserve us as this is the only thing our body can do at the moment of the event to save us, continuing to live dissociated from the body after the event is dangerous as a person starts to ignore its needs, while actually he/she thinks they are ignoring the pain. But the pain is stored in the body and the only way to heal it is to reconnect and release it.
By the safe space we offer as a team where you are both offered a space to talk with both words and body, and no poses and performing is expected you are liberated to address the nakedness of your soul as well as the body and express what has been stored in it.
That is a very contrastive state actually the exact opposite of the sexual trauma event where most probably the victim is not allowed to express their authentic feelings. In this lies the healing power of our project as through this opposite process you can experience your totality and return the state of soveregnity over your body because in the sessions we offer, it is you who decides, what, how much to show.
That is how from someone who suffered the results of sexual trauma in the supportive environment of a psychologist and photographer you transform yourself into your own Naked psychologist as you overcome the fear of meeting face to face the nude truth stored in you which stays beyound the stories that happened to you.
Once supported to go through the dark river, where we hold your hand, you are ready to meet your Empowered Self.
Nature helps art and art helps nature reinvent itself in the constant cycle of transformation.